Usually on a Legend of Zelda fan site, you’re sprinkled with reassurance and admiration for this well respected series you’ve come to worship. Screw that. Unfortunately for Zelda fans, there’s a group of people who don’t like Zelda, and even some who loath it altogether. Whether they be lapsed fans discontent with the direction of the series or people who just never “clicked” with it to begin with, they’re out there and many of their criticisms are legitimate. Because of this, I’ve decided to take the Zelda haters seriously for once, and have created a list that addresses each grievance I am aware of. So without further delay, here is the list in its entirety.
Companions
“Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Listen!!” Yeah okay, so I’m being a little unoriginal here, but this is the first criticism that comes to mind. I remember as a little kid playing Ocarina of Time; my Dad would leave the room because he couldn’t stand Navi’s constant chatter. Later on, I gave one of my friends a chance to play the game. I believe he made it to the third dungeon before loosing interest. His reason: Navi’s endless walls of text. My friend’s problem was that he just wanted to play the game, figure things out for himself, and Navi was making that nearly impossible. Personally, I was surprised he didn’t mention the owl, but I’m going to assume that factored into his frustrations. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like companions will be leaving anytime soon, considering they’ve become a staple of the series.
No Voice Acting
“I’m so hungry I could eat an octorok!” Get over it people. The CDi games came out nearly 15 years ago and were made by a shoddy Russian developer. Times have changed. Now days, the majority of adventure games have voice acting and the ones that don’t are considered substandard. The only explanations I’ve heard from fans against voice acting are excuses. Don’t you people trust Nintendo? They’re a multibillion dollar corporation; I think they can manage to round up a few profession voice actors. Honestly, third parties a fifth of their size have managed to do this. Fact is, the majority of gamers don’t like reading through pages of text in a single playthrough. They do, however, enjoy a good story. Voice acting is the way to do this, and possibly, the only way to win over dissenters.
Predictability
Forest, fire, water. Fire, forest, water. Water, fire, forest. You get the picture. Here on out, it only gets worse. After you finish the first 3 dungeons, there’s a plot twist and you go on to face another 3-5 dungeons. There’s usually a duel world or time travel involved. Oh, and if that’s not “safe” enough for you, expect your ultimate goal to involve saving Princess Zelda. By the way, did I mention Ganon in all this? When Ocarina of Time made its way onto the gaming scene, these were welcome components to the series. No more.
After bleeding this formula to death, it’s time for a change. Luckily, it does indeed look like change is what we’re going to get. According to series figureheads such as Shigeru Miyamoto and Eiji Aonuma, they are ready to be creative again. For people on the verge of giving up on the series, this news couldn’t have come at a better time.
Low Quality Side-quests
Say whatever you want. The truth is Twilight Princess’s side quests were horrible. If you thought searching a giant, barren world for microscopic bugs was fun, good for you, but for the rest of us, it was hell, and the pain didn’t stop there either. Recycled vomit such as the Golden Skultula side-quest made a comeback, but this time, instead of hunting skultulas, you got to hunt poes instead. Not nostalgic enough for you? There’s also a needlessly confusing mission where you have to deliver hot spring water to a goron before the time limit expires. Side-quests aren’t supposed to test a gamers sanity. They’re supposed to be a pleasant diversion from the frustrations of the main quest. Get it straight, Nintendo.
Linearity
A little linearity can go a long way to making an adventure game palatable, but too much will make it feel like the game’s treating you as if you were a toddler. Based on design, The Legend of Zelda series is not meant to be linear. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what it has become. Even if, at times it almost feels like a real adventure game, I am quickly reminded that there are walls everywhere. There was a time when all one needed to do was take sword in hand and the adventure began. Play Twilight Princess and expect somewhere up to an hour before you can explore so much as one-fourth of the entire overworld map. This is by far Nintendo’s biggest shortcoming with regard to The Legend of Zelda and the greatest reason to despise the series.
